{celebrating a decade of learning to write in front of an audience}

Archive for 2008

It’s all fun and games until someone loses 2,800 eyes

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 15:25:53 -0600

If you’ve read the authors’ book — Our Kampf — or if you think it’s extreme dickishness to forbid you from reading a site without first reading the book [raises hand] — maybe read the article Bush’s ‘Peace In Our Time’.  It’s bitter.  Excerpt:

Israel’s “policy” (if that’s the word) is clear: Peace with Syria; Gaza is Egypt’s problem; and the West Bank is Jordan’s.  This means a Two-State Solution is dead.  Its funeral is taking so long it even has a name: Peace Process.

Faster than a speeding Moore’s Law

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 14:39:50 -0600

Once, there were desktop computers.  These were so unwieldy that they redefined — upwards — the acceptable size of a desk.  Many people just put them on the floor and stumbled over them.

Then came laptops.  These were just about the right size for a the top of a desk.

Then notebook computers.  These were almost small enough to fit on your lap.

Then there were handhelds.  Handhelds were about the size of your average paper notebook, just heavier.

So when computers were finally shrunken to a size you could accommodate in two hands, they were palmtops.

And it’s worth it, why, exactly?

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:33:51 -0600

No!  No no no!  Fuck cultural relativism.  Asia: you are fucking wrong.  Stop eating our turtles.

Aargh.  These magnificent, gentle, ancient creatures, gobbled up because of bronze-age superstitions that people can’t seem to grow out of.

WorldCat

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 19:47:10 -0600

UmYeahWow.  WorldCat is awesome: “Search for books, music, videos, articles and more in libraries near you.”

Redefining “unstable” network setups

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 12:29:39 -0600

I don’t think this is too techie for most site readers.  Egads.  It’s not 1 April, so I’m taking it at face value.

Like the article at that site (with which I’m unaffiliated)?  Not to belabor anything, but if you do, click some of the ads.

Affiliate payouts

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 18:05:01 -0600

Amazon pays out affiliates every time their account tops $10.  This is about the normal range for such programs.

Google Adsense, on the other hand, doesn’t pay out until the user has accumulated $100.  This means that there are potentially millions of dollars in the accounts of content generators with $99.99 or below in their accounts that Google will not, and may never, pay.  This is hardly fair.  $100 in ad revenue for a small site is a lot.  Anyone think there’s a class action coming?

Also, for readers of the feed, you may note that I’ve put advertising in the feed now.  Hope this doesn’t drive you away.  If it doesn’t, would you please make it a practice (not just for me, but for all blogs) to click on the ad in the post after you’re done reading, as a “Thank you”?  You needn’t do any more than this.  It would help fund the hosting of this site, and would do the same for other bloggers.

MGMT

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 16:17:21 -0600

I heard today what is, to me, a new song by a new band: Kids, by the band MGMT.

It is exceedingly good, reminiscent simultaneously of The Flaming Lips, Bowie, and Tears for Fears, if you can get your head around that.

I’ve only heard the one single, but will likely give the rest a listen — and probably buy or trade for it.

Summing up my state of mind, musically

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 14:22:25 -0600

You have really, really gotta check this out.  If you don’t want to listen to the whole thing, listen at least through Silent Night.

If you’re at the Real Site:

It’s so easy being green

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:50:49 -0600

Almost certainly too late for this year, but: Green Your Christmas Tree.  The site, Earth911, is well-worth bookmarking.  Their search for local recycling operations is especially nifty.  Do a search for “91780″ and check out the outfit on Duarte.

Jiminy Christmas Eve Eve

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:00:51 -0600

There are people you really, really don’t want to piss off.  I can’t believe I’m about to increase their PageRank, but here it is.

If you don’t mind, make up your own punchline this year

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:39:12 -0600

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/humor/check.asp

Seriously.

If you do come up with a punchline, find something that strokes my ego for going all anti-commercial this Christmas.

Talk about anything

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:37:19 -0600

The static pages on this site don’t have comments fields.  So it has happened that commentators have gone to whatever the first post on the home page is and posted there.  This is the magnet for such posts.  You have almost completely free rein.  Talk about anything: talk about politics, about how much you hate my politics; about the site, or how much you hate the site; about me, or how much you hate me; about yourself, or how much you hate yourself; whatever.  It’s here.  I’ll make it as obvious as I can.

If I say “Eschew”, please don’t say “God bless you”

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:18:46 -0600

There are plenty of people here, I estimate, who would think I completely support this article.  I am here to disown it.  It is poorly-written, confrontational, unhelpful, rude, offensive, supercilious, bitter, and useless.  You are not helping, Polly Toynbee.

Merry Christmas to one, and to him a good night

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:01:44 -0600

The one being, uh, Paul Anderson:

Milla Jovovich and how

Depends on what your definition of “dickhead” is

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 10:20:39 -0600

The Independent:

United Nations Security Council Resolution 242 … was passed in November 1967, after Israel had occupied Gaza, the West Bank, East Jerusalem, the Sinai and Golan, and it emphasizes “the inadmissibility of the acquisition of territory by war” and calls for “withdrawal of Israeli armed forces from territories occupied in the recent conflict”.

Readers who know the problem here will be joined by those who will immediately pick it up. The Israelis say that they are not required to withdraw from all the territories — because the word “all” is missing and since the definite article “the” is missing before the word “territories”, its up to Israel to decide which bits of the occupied territories it gives up and which bits it keeps.

In related news, I was just given a parking ticket!  Can you believe it?  Yes, there was a sign that said “No parking”, but I told the cop that I didn’t park there on Wednesdays or Thursdays!  Just Saturday!  When I was not parking on Wednesdays, I was indeed not parking!

Egads.

Danger Mouse deal

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 07:58:51 -0600

The complete series megaset of Danger Mouse (the show, my clever electronica fans) is available for $10 on preorder.

Believe it or not, I’m not getting a kickback on this one.

Czech yourself before you wreck someone else

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 02:48:37 -0600

A group of laborers who refuse to be paid in cash have attacked a community of space robots with purple vacuum cleaner heads.

I’m sure I got some of that right.

Less goofily: in college I read a book called Extraordinary Groups: An Examination of Unconventional Groups that covered, in the chapter with the greatest depth, the Rom community.  Not cool how they’ve been treated.  Their common name, itself an inaccurate slur (inaccurate because they are not from Egypt; slur because it means, in Europe, “y’aint from ’round here, are ya?”), carries connotations of thievery and fraud, and can be used pejoratively in casual conversation, frequently by people who don’t know they are doing it.  They survived persecution, marginalization, and, finally, murder in the gas chambers of the Third Reich, but (AFAIK) no one has built a museum for them yet.

So, please, no riots, OK?  No attacks.  No “gypsy cabs”, nor having someone “gyp” you.  In a sense, they are where Jews were before WWII, an allowed target of hate.  We needn’t hate.

But, you know, keep your wallet in your front pocket.  Just to be safe.

The book: as of this writing, there’s one for a penny.  It’s a good book.  You can afford a penny:

Reader survey

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:38:08 -0600

For regular readers:

1. Do you read using a feed reader or read at the site?
2a. If you use a feed reader, which?
2b. If you read at the site, do you receive email notifications of new posts or check manually?
2bI. If you receive email notifications, would you like the ability to receive email notifications of new comments on the site?
2bIi. Would you want a way to specifically avoid dead hamster comments?

Thanks!

qvibepr

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:10:14 -0600

There are apparently an infinite number of law firms that pay for placement, through Google, on pages that contain a particularly unpleasant d-word, even once.  I’ve gone through and rot13ed every mention, so if you see “qvibepr” everywhere, that’s why.

If none of this made sense to you, just imagine that it’s really deep and beyond comprehension.  Or imagine that it’s utterly trivial and not worth your time.  Whichever makes me not have to go through explaining it.

Questioning the question

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:57:16 -0600

OK, I’ll stop with the posts soon.

On the Actual Sitetm, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to convey to casual readers that the text in the upper-right is a rotating quote.  People seem oddly unable to figure this out.  The yellow-on-black question mark with the alert() popup has been my best effort so far.

But I don’t like it.

Presumably, every one of you has a better aesthetic sense than I.  So, please, help me fix it to be something awesome.  In the meantime, I’m going to be adding Adsense tracking to static pages and rewriting my hand-tooled dynamic pages (the source of those very quotations).  Maybe.  Maybe I’ll just keep checking my tracking numbers.

Accolades for indie Saudi Arabia

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:41:57 -0600

NPR today introduced me to The AccoLade, an — get ready — all-girl indie alt-metal band (almost goth, judging from one single) from Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.  They sing in English.

I love NPR, but they can be annoyingly supercilious at times.  Their reporter opined that most people are listening to them out of curiosity about the fact that they are an all-girl Saudi band (whose members have to perform anonymously), rather than “the quality of the music”.  Go to Quranic Hades (?), NPR.  It’s good music, if somewhat dated and formulaic.  It would have been playable on the radio 14 years ago.  This is reasonable.  Presumably it takes a bit of time for goth rock to trickle into Jeddah.

So, yeah.  Listen.  And hope against hope for a continued lack of Fatwā/Fatwā/Fatw&amacron; (with any luck, at least one of those encodings will get the terminal a-avec-macron to show up properly [and thanks again, Jordon]).

And with this stroke of the cyberpen, I knock that frakking qvibepr attorney post off the front page….

Superior Titanium

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:23:42 -0600

I’d like to take a moment to endorse a great company (and, full disclosure, important site advertiser), Superior Titanium.  They sell a range of goods made from titanium, many of which make great holiday gifts, especially their fantastic money clips, which I swear by (Literally.  I’ve inscribed Bible verses on mine and everything.)

Scatter to the winds

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:38:17 -0600

I was going to do something.  Important.  Really important, right after I hit “publish” on the last post.

I have no idea what.  I’m just sure the fate of the planet depended on it.

Good news: two more posts and I get the qvibepr post off the frontpage.

New masthead image

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:34:41 -0600

I really like the new picture in the upper-right.  I liked that the former image contained Niall, but that picture was way outdated.  I think I may install an image rotator to go with the quote rotator.

Shameless Holiday Ad 2008

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:40:49 -0600

OK, I’m a whore, but:

Not for me, but for, you know, someone.  Someone hard to shop for.  With internet access.  Who might live a long way away.  Use that link, if you would.

Fever of 100°. Celsius.

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:14:23 -0600

From the ACLU:

An American man detained in the United Arab Emirates at the behest of the U.S. government was released from State Security custody — where he was detained incommunicado in a secret location — and has been transferred to a prison in Abu Dhabi after suffering severe torture.

Naji Hamdan’s transfer came only one week after lawyers for the ACLU filed a lawsuit alleging that the U.S. government was responsible for his detention.

On December 2nd, Naji Hamdan, who lived in the Los Angeles area for more than two decades, was allowed a phone call to his brother, Hossam Hamdan, a resident of Los Angeles.  Hamdan reported to his brother that officials transferred him to a regular prison on November 26 and that his captors routinely beat him and kept him in a freezing underground room during his months-long detention by State Security forces.  The torturers kicked him with their military boots in the location of his liver, knowing that he has a liver condition.  On some occasions, they beat him so badly that Mr. Hamdan passed out for extended periods of time and believed he would die.  On at least one occasion, they strapped his arms and legs down to an electric chair, while threatening to use it.

Hamdan’s description of the torture and interrogation he endured makes clear that American agents have been involved.  Although blindfolded by his torturers, Hamdan reported that some of the interrogators spoke native American English and were not fluent in Arabic.  In addition, the agents interrogated Hamdan on topics about which only U.S. federal agents could have knowledge, such as a meeting he had with FBI agents.

The news of Hamdan’s transfer comes after the ACLU filed a habeas corpus petition in federal district court in Washington, D.C., alleging that the U.A.E. detained Hamdan at the behest of the U.S. government.  Last week, U.S. District Judge James Robertson ordered the government to respond to the petition.

Hamdan, who was born in Lebanon, lived for more than two decades in the Los Angeles area, where he ran an auto-parts business and helped manage the Islamic Center of Hawthorne, a mosque and community center.  In 2006, he decided to relocate his family and business to the U.A.E

Hamdan’s detention in the U.A.E. was the culmination of years of surveillance by the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI).  This summer FBI agents traveled from Los Angeles to the U.A.E. to question Hamdan further.  Approximately three weeks later he was detained by agents of the U.A.E. state security forces.

Hamdan’s brother and others who know him from his activities at the Islamic Center of Hawthorne have all said that he is a peaceful family man who would never support violence.

I have been exceedingly even-tempered of late.  I relish it.  I just don’t get angry about things, and certainly not the rage that I had for a while.

But my blood is boiling.

Fuck.

Did you read that blockquote?  Read it.  All of it.  Twice.  Rumor is that President Bush is considering preëmptive pardons for top administration officials for their complicity in torture and extraordinary rendition.

Even tempered, yes.  But pardon is a little bit too lax for me, nonetheless.  I’m thinking something more moderate, such as summary execution in the Rose Garden.  Followed by cake.

Fuck.  How did this happen to our country?  The old quote is about good men doing nothing being the only thing necessary for evil to triumph.  But we didn’t do nothing.  We fought with every peaceful means we had available.

On 11th September 2001, four airliners were hijacked.  On 12th September, the world’s largest power was hijacked, and flown by people who had no idea how to land, just how to steer into the National Archive building, where the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution are held.

OK, that preceding paragraph was unbelievably corny.  I almost deleted it on preview.  So, more concisely: Fuck.

Fuck.

Internet down at home, Planet Cyber is my friend

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 12:11:41 -0600

Hey all,

I might be a bit hard to get in touch with these days, as both internet and cell phone service are down at home.  Selfishly, it’s really nice, but I know a lot of you care about me and want to stay connected.

I got an account at this super-rad place down the street called Planet Cyber (link later) and I’ll be waddling over a few times a day, on average.  It’s windows, and I might start bringing my own keyboard (yuuuuuck), but it’s great.  They have a “Quiet Room”.  And it’s really really cheap.

How to get in touch with me?  Email.  Or letter.  Seriously.  Address is on my “About me” page.

I’ll probably respond within 48 hours or so.  But I’m safe, and happy, and in fine fettle, and I’ll be with you all again soon.

- Josh

Other Joshua McGees, the warmup post

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:41:01 -0600

For the record, I didn’t torch a high school (Except in the nineties with my wicked good looks!  Ha!  See what I did there?  Ha!)

Google AdSense is Back

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:17:17 -0600

I’m back to whoring out mcgees.org.  If you go to the Real Actual SiteTM (I know tons of you read with a feed reader) you will see them on the right.

Their contextual placement has gotten much, much better since I last used AdSense, and I’ve chilled a bit about the New-Agers and religionists advertising on my atheism posts.

So, a game (the kind of mcgees.org game that no one ever plays): What’s the most wrong match, in an amusing fashion?  For instance, on my Tunguska post there are two ads selling bread boxes.  Winner gets a year’s ad time if five or more people play.

What is profoundly and deeply not a game is to see who can click on the most ad links.  Really.  That would be cheating, and would serve no other purpose than to give me money to feed myself and repay loans.  Don’t go clicking on advertisements willy-nilly.  Got it?

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 21:46:53 -0600

A perennial favorite on mcgees.org, almost as long as there has been a mcgees.org, is the mangling of Christmas carols and poetry by taking them through translation paths in BabelfishIn this stretch of time, automatic translation technology has progressed to the point at which it’s not really funny any longer.  Here is the traditional Narcotic Period path for “Twas the Night Before Christmas”, this time using the fantastic Google Translate:

“That was on Christmas Eve, when the entire house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

Stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In the hope that Saint – Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were all located in drag their beds,
While visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads;
Mother and her kerchief and I in my cap
Recently installed for a long winter nap,
If the lawn, as a tire noise,
I jumped out of bed to see what is wrong.
Through the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw the chassis.
The moon within the snow
He gave the brightness of midday to objects below,
If my eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight reindeer,
With some “old driver so lively and quick,
I knew that at one time must Saint – Nick.
More than eagles his courses came Jenny,
He whistles and shouted and called them by name;
“Now, Nob! Now, dancer! Now Prance and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! And Blitzer!
For the upper balcony! at the top of the wall!
Well, the difference Dash! Dash away! Dash away all! ”
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
If it is an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So, for that high-flying home courses,
With the sleigh full of toys, and Saint – Nicholas too.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof
Pawing rampant and in every small town.
Since I drew my hand and became,
The chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur from head to toe in
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A pile of toys he referred,
And he seemed a lot peddle its opening.
His eyes – as Valentine! Dimple, as his merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His beautiful mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of its development is so white with snow;
The strain of a pipe held tightly in its teeth;
The smoke encircled his head like a crown;
He had a broad face and a little round the stomach,
What shocked when traveling as a bowl of jelly.
He was plump and plump, a right merry old elf,
And I laugh when I saw in spite of myself;
A wink of an eye and a twist of the head,
Soon gave me to know that he had nothing to fear;
He does not speak a word, but it was straight to his work,
Meets in the Netherlands and then with a jolt,
And with the finger aside of his nose,
NOD and the chimney rises;
I jumped on his sled, his team has a whistle,
And much all flew like a camp.

But I heard him exclaim, led the first sight
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”

Well, hell.  Humor 0, International Relations 1.  Happy Holidays.