I’ve been asked for my Vegan Curried Lentils & Rice recipe by several people so far.  So here it is.

This might be an obnoxious recipe to those who do not cook as I do.  It’s basically a framework to hang a recipe upon.  The good news is that as long as you follow a few basic ratios (rice/lentils/water) and a couple warnings (don’t burn stuff, don’t salt it while cooking), it’s pretty hard to mess up this dish.

In the broad strokes, it’s:

2 parts white rice
2 parts lentils
8 to 10 parts water
oil
plant matter
spices
salt

In the way I made it last night, I used about 1 ½ half cups each of rice and lentils, so these guidelines will use those figures.  Scale up or down, arithmetically, as needed.

Sort the lentils on a tray, removing stones and broken, freakishly deformed, and very hard or discolored lentils.

Finely chop the vegetable matter you want.  How much?  More than you might think.  Last night I used  about four inches of ginger rhizome, peeled; two (small) bulbs of organic heirloom garlic; and a medium-sized jalapeño pepper, seeded but leaving the placenta.  A shallot or two are awesome, but I couldn’t find any here.  Some people add half an onion, but I’m allergic.

Combine the spices you want in a cup or bowl so that you don’t have to fiddle with measuring them while stuff is cooking.  Here is where it gets super-fun.  Use your creativity here.  I might use

1 tsp each of:

white pepper
paprika
cumin
fenugreek

Somewhat less of:

nutmeg
cardamom

Much less of:

asafœtida

A few leaves of:

bay

And a hellishly large amount of:

turmeric

Seriously, like two rounded tablespoons of turmeric.  In my opinion it’s the key, and will help nutrient absorption, digestion, and prevent gas.  Really.

You can play around with other spices you might like.  If you do enough cooking, you will know what will go well.  You might use some anise (a small amount), if you want to take the dish in that direction.  I haven’t tried ground mustard, but I bet it would work.  Black pepper would also go.

There are, of course, commercial curry powders.  I think that’s no fun at all, but if you’re new to this, you can use solely such a powder, or (better) half commercial prep and half what you design.

Do not add salt.  You will ruin the lentils if you salt while cooking.  It’s a chemistry thing.

Heat oil – about 4 TB – in a heavy pot over high heat until it starts to sputter.  I find grapeseed oil works best.  It’s a bit yummier, I think, made with ghee (clarified butter), but that of course makes it not vegan.  If you use ghee, use medium-high heat and don’t wait for it to sputter.

Add the spices and fry them to dissolve the fat-soluble chemicals.  Don’t let the oil smoke.  Before the oil reaches that point, add the chopped vegetable matter and cook that in the oil to soften the chopped vegetables.  You might find you need to decrease the stove temp, depending on your stove and pot.

When you’re about to faint from how freaking awesome your kitchen smells, add the white rice, dry.  Toss it in the oil, vegetables, and spices, and keep stirring and cooking.  You are trying to toast the rice at this point.

When it’s toasted, add the water.  I used six cups, but you can use as much as 7 ½ or so.  Stir to make sure the other ingredients aren’t sticking to the bottom.  Add the dry lentils; stir again.  Increase heat the the highest setting and, uncovered, bring to a rolling boil.

Cover and immediately reduce heat to the barest simmer.  Set a timer for 45 minutes.  If you’re using green lentils, they need a bit longer; 55 minutes, say.  Resist the urge to take the lid off and check during while cooking.  They’ll be fine.  They’re grown-ups.

After the timer goes off, move the pot off the heat and let it sit for, say, 10 to 15 minutes.  Open and stir (the rice and lentils are likely to have ended up in layers).  Is the consistency what you wanted?  If not – too gruely or too thin – make a mental note to adjust the water as you see fit next time.  If it’s way thicker than you wanted, you might have some luck adding water and simmering a bit longer, but that’s a gamble.

You can salt the whole pot now, but I prefer to salt each portion.  Serve hot.  It makes it not vegan again, but you can stir in sour cream for transcendent awesomeness.  Various Indian-style relishes – the ones Patak makes are great – can also be stirred in.  Their “Mixed”, “Hot Lime”, and “Hot Mango” relishes are among my favorites.

Let cool to lukewarm and put in a sealed container in the refrigerator.  You will have a ton of it – probably more than you expected.

Enjoy!

I’ve never tried to share a YouTube playlist before.  Nor, as it happens, create one.  Put this squarely in the “I would have thought it would be easier” square.  I can’t seem to embed it meaningfully or to give a nice graphical preview, so, to make it big at least:

Here is the playlist link!

I would start at the one on the top, the Caliendo.

Let me know what you think.  I think they’re all worth watching and were the best among those I watched.  And let me know if I can do the YouTube linkage better.

I was told yesterday that I look like rock star Claudio Sanchez, a name I didn’t know.  So I went looking for a pic, and thought I’d strike the same pose to show that is nonsense:

OK, yes yes yes, I’m way late to the party, but geohashing is wicked-cool.  Programmed spontaneity!  I’d put it at much cooler than geocaching and almost as cool as DCP (there are links in the post proper).

I’ve held off getting an iPod because they hadn’t crossed into the realm where they met my needs.

They have now.

Here’s the model:

So, we’ve all done work.  Apple designed it; Amazon is selling it; I’m recognizing that I want it.  Now it’s the turn for a dedicated reader to buy one for me.  Wishlist.  kthnxbye

20 July 1969: The first manned moon landing.

25 years later: A comet crashes into Jupiter.

Another 15 years later, to the day: Another comet crashes into Jupiter.

Why do I get the distinct impression that this is First Contact, and clever beings in the Kuiper Belt are shaking their two-apiece heads in wonderment and saying, “Really?  They missed that?”

I have it on good authority that they will go back in time to insert geniuses to write the best music of a decade (something called “grunge music”), and insert a genius to write the best indie stage productions of a decade (something called “the best indie stage productions of a decade”), all on 20 July.  And when this still fails to impress us, they will send the rest of the Kuiper belt to hit our little planet.

I have it on good authority that they will feel sad about it, though.

I received a very cute attempt at a cease-and-desist letter by the head of StampWants, Mark Rosenberg, whom I had called racist due to his preference for having large numbers of categories for some countries and no categories for others.  I’ve rephrased and my revision is here.

Starting this October, U.S. television network NBC will be running an action series starring Christian Slater.

Startled, I contacted NBC/Universal, and was given the following explanation:

We at NBC were initially reluctant to risk a high-budget series with Christian Slater in the lead roles.  But that’s before we secured Scott Weiland to score it and Terry Gilliam and Orson Welles as co-directors.  With this combination of talent, we decided there was no way we would lose our time and money.

(Nerds, hover over that Christian Slater link.  He is assigned a number that implies that he was the 225^th added to IMDB.  The first?  Serq Afgnver.  Bracketing him?  Nyvpvn Fvyirefgbar at 224 and Jvyy Fzvgu at 226.  WEIRD.)

Check out 960946038000 and marvel at the über-efficiency of FedEx!  They really are frakking unbelievable.  I think it’s time to invest.

Some of you have already gotten this in an email from me, but I strongly advise you to sign up for Obopay.  In short, it’s a secure way to send money from your mobile phone to another person’s mobile phone, even if he or she has not signed up yet.  It’s much like Paypal, with the killer app being the restaurant phenomenon of no one having enough cash: this way, everyone can text their contribution to one person, who then puts the bill on a credit card (it needs a PIN, so if someone steals your phone, they cannot empty your bank account or credit card.)

Also useful for movie tickets, splitting parking costs, paying for auctions, and so forth.  Unlike Paypal, which takes a (large!) percentage of the money from the seller, Obopay just charges the sender a small fee (for now it’s a dime, but it’s going up to a quarter next month.)

OK, here’s the pitch: sign up using that link I’ve provided, and I’ll get a referral bonus.  I could really use the cash.  As soon as you add a funding source, you’ll be set up as an Obopay registered user.  Then, I’ll send you $1 (via Obopay) — your first Obopay receipt — as thanks.  OK?  Please sign up your mobile phone, and use one of the links.

U.S. only for right now, sorry.

Merci.

This is awesome.  It is a Google Maps mashup that locates blue mailboxes as well as UPS and FedEx locations, on a Google Map, complete with the times of pickup or hours of operation.

If you ask Google what time it is in Singapore, Google will tell you.  It will also give you a link to this page about the tumultuous history of Singapore’s time zoning.

Want to see almost real-time video of an eagles’ nest off the coast of California as it is alternately fed by Mom & Dad?  Go here for the eaglecam.

Linux users in X have it great.  Type mplayer http://media1.vcoe.org/eaglecam1 in a shell window, set the window that pops up as “always on top”, and just hang it somewhere on your screen(s).

Thanks, Amal!

GoogSpy is pretty cool.

I had a fantastically real-seeming dream about publishing a book and having it printed on the most luxurious paper I’ve ever felt.  It was printed on the processed fibrous bark of some bush that doesn’t actually exist.  The paper was dense, smooth, almost velour-textured.  It gave crystal-clear impressions to the ink deposited on it, and was luxurious to fan through.  It was almost warm to the touch, naturally dyed (kind of taupe-colored), and exceedingly sexy.

This is one of the few multi-sensual dreams I’ve experienced, and the first exceedingly tactile, almost erotic, dream I can recall that did not involve strategic female fat deposits.  In other words: I had a booby dream about paper.

And now I’m on a search for ultrafine papers.  I use 28 lb. Crane’s Crest cotton paper in my regular correspondence.  This dream paper made that feel like 300-grit sandpaper.  Pointers?

Ten years ago, I had an inkjet printer (it was a Canon) with amazing mechanical registration: you could print a document, take out the paper, put it back in the tray, print the same document on top of it, and you couldn’t tell!  Everything was perfectly aligned, to the sub-millimeter.  This was a sub-$100 printer.  So I know this technology exists in consumer-ready form.

The other piece of my idea is OCR software.  Again, what I need from it is far less than what is available right now.

What do I want?  I want an all-in-one scanner/printer doohickey.  Take a form — any reasonable size — and feed it through the document feeder.  The hardware would scan it, the software would identify the fields where one needs to enter text (they will usually be underlined or have boxes for each letter) and then allow you to type, like those fill-in PDF files.  You would type the text you want on the form, feed it through the document feeder again, and, Bingo!  It would print out your answers, perfectly legibly, onto the empty form.  It would size its font and everything to be just right.

I thought of this in college, years ago.  I’m tired of waiting for venture cap to make a fortune building this myself.  I just want someone to build it now.  Take the idea.  Make your million bucks.  Just charge less than $200, and I’ll buy at least one.

Please.  Now.  My handwriting’s getting worse as we speak.  Build it now.

“Mesmerizing” is how my brother described it.  I wish I knew more adjectives.  That hardly does it justice.

Two YouTube links in one day?  Shenanigans!  OK, just ignore the last one if you have to, and go watch this one.

The Cowon A2 is a portable media player (think juiced-up iPod).  I can strongly recommend it.  Key features:

• Mounts as a USB volume, so it’s Linux-compatible (as well as Windows and Mac)
• Has a 4-inch 16 x 9 (widescreen) high-contrast LCD display (much larger than the iPod’s)
• Plays a ton of formats, many more than iPod, including XviD and FLAC, as well as your normal MP3, AVI, etc.
• Can output RCA A/V, or record from any RCA A/V source (such as your DVD player, TiVO, VCR, camcorder, etc.)
• Ten-hour playback time on one charge
• Case folds back into a viewing stand.  Case is also really cleverly designed, to allow open access to ports, switches, buttons, and speakers.
• Ability to work as a USB host, so you can plug flash drives, digital cameras, and so forth into it
• Lots of features I haven’t explored yet: use it to read documentation, see lyrics to your songs as they play, graphic equalizer, tune/record FM radio, schedule A/V recordings

Wishlist:

• Wi-Fi connectivity plus web browser (via USB WiFi adapter)
• “Shuffle” toggle from within playlist browser rather than through Music Options
• Automatic recognition of letterboxed NTSC, to expand into full-screen 16 x 9

All these should be possible through firmware hacks.  I don’t know if anyone is working on it yet.

In Windows, the easiest way to convert DVD video to video viewable on the A2 seems to be DVD Decrypter followed by AutoGK.

OK, I’ve listened to the album Lovelorn probably seven times straight through, and it really stands up to repeat listening.  I just would love a version with a real symphonic backing, rather than a synth.  I actually have a spare copy, and maybe two, if someone wants it.

Or, order it:

I need.  I need.

You know Google can do unit conversion, right?

Before discarding your used Sonicare toothbrush heads in favor of fresh ones, be sure to salvage the small, powerful, presumably neodymium magnets at the interior base of the head.  They are black, sometimes are epoxied in, and sometimes are floating.  These are strong, valuable, and presumably add significantly to the Sonicare head fabrication costs.

To order new heads, you can use the following links.

I got a web-enabled phone today and thls is my first mobile post.  The site doesn’t look too shabby on it either.

I am training myself on the handwriting recognition now.

In letter recognizer:

L ne qvlck brown aox jumlyfd over tre laz y dog.

In Transcriber:

i-re quick brown fit jumped over the lazy dog.

More work to come.

i-nequick R 71

If you are mailing items from the US to other countries, or have been assigned the task of writing software that can handle every country (and would like some indigestion), check out this exceptionally good guide to international mailing.

Example of content:

In MAURITIUS, the use of postcodes has been introduced on a trial basis in a single delivery office. This trial, limited for the moment to the Curepipe office (742CU001 CUREPIPE), has not yet been extended to other offices owing to numerous difficulties, such as the lack of street names, house numbers, etc.

Also, you can check out the USPS International Mail Manual.  More from this to follow.

Whale apparently thanks rescuers.  Is this too much anthropomorphizing?  I expect not.

Grow a grass armchair: “The Grass Armchair is a kit to grow a seat in your yard… You will need about 240 litres of soil, to fill in the frame. First find the right spot, because once the armchair has grown you won’t be able to move it!!”

Forgetting what our local portal server at work was called, I typed in portal in Firefox’s address bar.  That was not the name of the server, so Firefox did its magic, running an “I’m Feeling Lucky” search at Google and giving me the first match: http://www.firstgov.gov/. It’s a massive, wonderful U.S. Government web portal. Auctions, taxes, science for kids, census data, blue pages, product recalls, forms — massive amounts of stuff. Well recommended.

Neighborhoodies.com. Custom-lettered clothing, no minimum order, lots of choices in clothing styles, real designers designing every piece. T-shirts are about $20. Looks wonderful. Anybody have experience with the company?

(Coupon code “BLOGGER” for 10% off, according the the ad on MeFi.)

Sandbag Superadobe shelters are made from sandbags filled with local earth and barbed wire. They can withstand earthquakes and are suitable for refugees and disaster victims. They can be made into permanent shelters, can have multiple rooms, and have just won an architectural award.

Does your home rotate?  This one does.