{celebrating a decade of learning to write in front of an audience}

Archive for the 'movies' Category

So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:33:48 -0600

A science fiction movie just explained an insect eradication technique to me:  Expose males to sterilizing radiation.  Then when they have offspring, the offspring will be sterile, and after a few generations the species will be extinct.

A … bit of a reasoning gap there.

Now, messing up their genome so that their offspring were not viable might work, if these modified insects were reintroduced each generation.  Breeding or engineering the flies to be stronger and sterile might work, if they could compete with normal males and make the latter starve — again given that this were repeated.  Or introducing a terminator gene so that offspring were sterile could be a good strategy.  All sorts of hand-waves work.  Just not this one.

[reference in title]

After Dark Horrorfest Reviews: Zombies of Mass Destruction

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:49:10 -0600

Zombies of Mass Destruction comes in at sixth out of eight in my ranking of this year’s Horrorfest.

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After Dark Horrorfest Reviews: The Graves

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:47:59 -0600

I rate The Graves seventh out of eight in this year’s Horrorfest, and the lowest-rated for simply being a bad film.

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After Dark Horrorfest Reviews: The Final

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:22:13 -0600

In my tabulation, The Final comes in at 8th place — the worst out of eight.  It gets this honor not because it is a bad film — which it is — but because it is completely unacceptable.

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I think it will be the case that people with email notifications will see the synopses in the clear, so I hope that doesn’t cause problems for those who want to see the films.  If it does on this first one, don’t read the snippets in the subsequent emails, instead visiting the site directly.

Horrorfest Tropes **SPOILERS**

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:50:52 -0600

As previously mentioned, I was eagerly awaiting the fourth year of the After Dark Horrorfest, an annual festival showcasing eight independent horror films.  I enjoyed it — a lot — as I expected.  But I thought I would write this post, which elaborates on:

Horror movies are one of the most trope-drenched genres of art that exist.  There is nothing inherently wrong about this — impressionist symphonic music is too, for instance — but one will sometimes watch an entire film for one key moment in which conventions are upended.  And, of course, recognition requires that one is familiar with the conventions in the first place.

Horror films were an Immersion Project for me, and one that I stuck with after the year.  I’m a huge fanboy now.  But I think it would be funny to tabulate the occurrence of tropes in these films.  There are probably both false positives and false negatives in the list, but I expect their occurrence is less than 10% — which we’ll find out if another fanboy critiques my list.

The films are:

D: Dread
H: Hidden
LM: Lake Mungo
KT: Kill Theory
TF: The Final
TG: The Graves
TR: The Reeds
Z: Zombies of Mass Destruction

Film D H LM KT TF TG TR Z
Young white people in peril
— With exactly one young character beloning to a racial minority
Blood as makeup
— That causes serious continuity problems due to insufficient storyboarding
Changing characters’ eyes, in a fashion that would have been difficult before cheap CGI
Establishing at the start of the film that there is no mobile phone reception
Rock music
— Rap music
Excessive drinking
Gore
— Excessive gore
—— Really fucking excessive gore
——— That will be worse if there’s an unrated cut
Murder of a good guy by a supposed good guy
Stock character identity communicated to audience by makeup and/or wardrobe
Eye trauma
Supernatural events and/or agents
A killer with sadistic proclivities
Character impaled
Don’t trust someone with a drawl
Assault with an unusual weapon
— That is unusual because it is actually a gardening tool
Contemplative characters tend to survive longer
Torture
Locking a window or a glass door is supposed to provide protection
Human caught in an animal trap
Main characters who are outcasts
Gratuitous boobage
A horror veteran as a ringer
Moody lighting
Big spooky house
A sting consisting of someone leaping in front of a car
Menace conveyed by someone wearing a hood
The horror is not over at the end of the film
Tries way too hard
Actually scary

So, eight films, all these tropes, and $100 later, will I go to next year’s festival?  Hellz yeah.

I want to write longer reviews of these, but I’d like input on the reviews’ format.  More inside.

On being completely out-of-touch with popular culture

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:59:46 -0600

A sampling of things I said to my mother upon her presentation of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to Niall and me:

“Is there backstory I should know?”

“Do crazy Christians freak out about this?”

[On seeing Emma Watson appear onscreen:] “Oh, she’s going to be pretty when she grows up!  Wait, when did this come out?  Maybe she has grown up.”

“So, if I’ve counted right, that’s, like, the fourth racial stereotype they’ve presented.”

“This is dense storytelling.  They must be trying to be authentic to the long novels I’ve seen.”

Je parle not enough

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:56:34 -0600

I almost always watch DVDs with French subtitles on.  It helps a lot with colloquial phrases that I have not otherwise found a way to learn.  I read French much, much better than I can understand spoken French, though.  I can manage sometimes, especially if it’s educated, Parisian French, but even that’s about 60-70%.  A film like Chrysalis is something that is extremely annoying because I can almost understand it without English subtitles.  But — and this baffles me — having a French film playing with English subtitles seemingly does nothing to help me learn.  So this reminds me of … R2-D2.

The premise for the character of R2-D2 is of a robot that can understand spoken English perfectly but cannot generate it.  And the language in which he speaks to C3-PO seems woefully insufficient to communicate the complexity of the thoughts that are supposedly being transmitted, unless there is some weird tonal stuff going on that, like Mandarin, is completely inaudible to me.  (That was a joke.)  Even in the 1970s, I expect that tech-minded people would have been sophisticated enough to understand that they had this backwards.  But even that is comparing just a speech recognition program to a TTS.  The idea that a little robot can understand spoken language in an NLP way, with perfect comprehension, but no one could be bothered to give him a better synthesizer?  It’s like Noonian Soong getting everything perfect in an android except for skin tone.

My mom told me that being less sensitive to it would improve my quality of life

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:26:44 -0600

I have this unerring knack for hearing errors in American accents.  An actor will start talking in a movie, and, if I’m with someone and I’m not in the theater, I’ll say, “Oh, he/she isn’t American, is he/she?”  When I’m with my mom, she’ll always say “sounds fine to me”.  But I’m never wrong.  I have false negatives, to be sure: Jamie Bamber’s IMDB profile says he is English, but if he has a British accent in real life, the accent is perfect to me in BSG (I can’t tell with Kandyse McClure on that show, either.)  But when I was first introduced to Hugh Laurie, Naomi Watts, Ioan Gruffudd, Simon Baker, and on and on including, tonight, Mischa Barton — I’ve thought “Oooh.  Wrong.”

Now, I can’t always tell certain Australian accents from South African accents, which I assume should be easy.  But that doesn’t annoy me.  The American bit does, because it sounds insulting: it is almost always a little too broad, a little too flat, a little too lifeless, and I’ll think, “Hey, we do not sound that bad.  Knock it off!”  Fortunately, incredibly patronizing accents (Kenneth Branaugh, Catherine Zeta-Jones, etc.) are not the norm.  But it will often severely detract from my enjoyment of a film.  It can be forgiven by making up a theoretical American accent, one so stylized (Hugo Weaving, Eddie Izzard) that it’s kind of just there — after all, Stallone is American — but when it’s supposed to be perfect, and it’s not.  Gah.

Within my lifetime, Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman perfected theirs.  It’s clearly possible.  Yes, it does make me wince at how badly American actors could be butchering non-American accents.  But, come on.  Voice.  Training.  Please.

Something something skinjob

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:28:18 -0600

I was reading a magazine article with Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer, about the new BSG movie.  She explained that she is “unwilling to use a body double”, so we would see “a little bit of skin from her” in the movie.  And I’m thinking, “Wait — there are people who could and would be a nude body double for Tricia Helfer?  Are there — um — lots of them?  Do they live near here?”

I think I accidently touched her one of her soyas

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:40:38 -0600

Hey, you remember some years ago when we all headed over to WWDN to, essentially, make fun of someone, and he turned out to be an admirable, decent, articulate, multi-faceted, stand-up example of a guy?  Well, Brent Spiner’s now on Twitter.  And the man is a genius, in an amping-snarkitude-and-wit-to-eleven kind of way.

Just remember, when he’s parrying people, he’s actually saying “fuck you”, and remember that when he says “fuck you” to them, he’s actually saying “fuck you” to you, and remember that even though he just told you to go fuck yourself, the man’s got a rapier.  Or, in better words than mine, from his abduction fantasy:

I drifted higher and higher. I was convinced I was a part of the light. But I wasn’t. It was a portal of some sort and I was being sucked in.  It felt strange.  Unlike any sucking experience I’ve ever had.

I forgot to title this one, initially. Probably due to nausea.

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 22:07:45 -0500

This started as a 122-character Tweet, which was going to say

Wikipedia has a “Snuff disambiguation” page.  This is frustrating for people who want nicotine and not to kill porn stars.

But aargh: I’m in a one-push excursion in Wikipedia now, both forking from that page, beginning on (respectively) “Snuff film” and “Snuff (tobacco)”.  Following link after link, pushing further into the bowels of Wikipedia with the plan to eventually pop (see stack) but never actually popping, because of the finite number of hours in one person’s life.

This has landed me outside of Wikipedia, into exploring “Antiques > Decorative Arts > Other” (where snuff boxes live on eBay), adding Tesis (7.6starswoot!) to my Netflix queue, and entirely forgetting how to monetize either.  Also, being reminded that Saddam Hussein was dead.

Sometimes I need to stop, realize that few people care, and admit that no one is paying me for blogging, despite my best efforts.

Star Wars: FAIL

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:52:15 -0500

Do you know the way in which Western bloggers might have something (brilliant but) insulting about hardline Muslims, but then don’t post out fear for personal safety?  I feel the same way as a nerd blogger w.r.t. Star Wars and LotR.  So, I’m not going to say it, OK?  I’m just going to link to [Shitty] designs in Star Wars, something I’ve thought for a long time.  Please keep the carbonite away, OK?  If you do come at me, come at me with a blaster: fire your beam of light, I’ll be able to finish my snack, take a short nap, and then dodge.

A meditation on horror movies

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 22:35:13 -0500

I just watched The Deaths of Ian Stone.  But I’m going to have to back up a bit, at least once.

I have an annual project of sorts: to take a field of which I know nothing and find initially off-putting and try to immerse myself therein to try to “see it from the inside” and discern the figures of merit that aficionados appreciate.  Some Christians use a metaphor of stained glass windows to explain Christianity itself: you can see a stained glass window from the outside, they say, but you only really see it from the inside, and it is a powerful image (for the record, I spent 18 years seeing it from the inside, thank you very much, and I’ll still pass on it.  But that’s been covered in more and bitterer depth on this site before.)  But it’s a useful image, and I’ll appropriate: I want to see the sun shining through from within.

So, a couple of years ago my project was “horror movies”.  Some of my annual projects I am happy to fold up and tuck away after the year is over (they usually run summer-to-summer.)  I don’t feel the need to listen to “gangsta” rap any longer, for instance.  Some stick with me: I’m now a huge football (read: soccer) nut after a year of immersion, and I really now enjoy horror movies.

Like many (initially) difficult genres, horror movies rely very heavily on conventions and tropes.  They are, even if they are not self-consciously acting it out (as in the Scream franchise, for instance) addressing everything that’s come before.  And the moments one remembers — at least that I remember — from horror movies are the scenes in which the tropes are upended.  A (sonic) sting is just not scary — it works on me less than 4% of the time, I would estimate — but when something takes me really by surprise, as does one moment in the first Final Destination and three in the (fantastic and underrated) quasi-UK-government-funded Creep, the impact (ha) is breathtaking (ha).  But they are less meaningful and impacting if one isn’t completely familiar with what exactly is being upended.

I’m going to dwell on the last two movies I mentioned.  Final Destination is “For the love of God Montresor” fun-scary.  Creep is “Man’s Inhumanity to Man makes countless thousands mourn” egads-scary — even more so than Creep, The Wicker Man (fuck Nick Cage, I’m talking about the real The Wicker Man) epitomizes this.  But — and this is utterly baffling — no one seems to recognize that these are different genres.  I remember when I was a Netflix early-adopter.  These days their recommendations are almost comically precise; I was, for instance, offered “More dark Showtime TV series” after I had queued Dexter.  But in Netflix 1.0 days, I’d get things like “Other things you might like in foreign.”  WTF?  I like a movie in a different language, and therefore would like every movie in a different language?  And the horror cross-indexing — to this day, as far as I can tell — jumps this dichotomized genre.  Or should I say multi-somethinged genre now?  Two other genres are lumped in: the “torture porn” of Hostel and its ilk (I avoid those on principle) — and “Extreme Horror”.

What is “Extreme Horror”?  I wondered that, too.  One likely place to find out seemed Greencine, a Netflix clone that knows it cannot compete on level ground, so fills two niche markets that Netflix ignores: XXX films and “Extreme Horror”.  I didn’t really have any desire to see any (the full cut of Ôdishon was quite enough for me, thanks) but I was really curious what sort of things were in this realm.  I read some of the plot descriptions, and one — I really wish I were making this up for emphasis — was a Freedom of Information Act-retrieved amateur videotape of an actual motherfucking murder spree.  What the fucking hell?!  This is not horror.  Or, if it is, this is horror, and the cinematic efforts need to give up the pretense of claiming that title.  I didn’t see it — never would — but my pulserate has doubled just writing this paragraph.  What is wrong with some people?  This is like, to modify someone else’s joke, finding Jeffrey Dahmer’s diaries in the cookbook section at Borders.

Calm.  Deep breath.  Let it out slowly.

So, The Deaths of Ian Stone.  It’s the “Montresor” fun-scary.  It was produced by the late (and terribly mourned) Stan Winston, and therefore (I think the causality is justified) featured impeccable special effects.  This is relevant because: it was an After Dark Horrorfest selection from the festival’s second year.

Aside about this festival: the first year of this festival, showcasing indie and low-budget horror flicks, some by first-time filmmakers, was extremely hyped.  I didn’t go see them in the theaters, but I have seen all (of the canonical eight) from the first year on DVD, and they’re all fun-scary.  I had by the time the second year of the festival, in fact.  I bought in and was going to see all eight in the festival theater.  And the first film I saw was Borderland, a hideous, brutal, and fantastically made based-on-a-true-story tale about cults, kidnapping, and murder in Mexico.  It would not be sacrilege (ha) to name this as a worthy successor to The Wicker Man — in fact, it upped the stakes by putting three religious perspectives into the pileup, and it’s really based on a true story, not just sold as such for increased disturbance power.  It is a really, really great movie, and disturbing as fuck-all (my pulse is racing again.)  And it is profoundly ensconced in the egads-scary realm.  As I said, it was the first of the crop I saw, and I didn’t see any of the rest in the theater.  I said to myself that the festival had jumped genres — yes, not sub-genres — and if I were to see the rest of the films, I would be advised to do so in my own home with a remote control and a lightswitch.  (It turns out, however, that Borderland is the odd one of the lot, and the rest are of the safer genre, with everyone commenting on how disturbing this one film is.)

The Deaths of Ian Stone.  It’s not a great movie, and some things are really lousy, like the slate-flat dialogue audio (the special sound effects editing is much better.)  It relies far too heavily on exposition, even in this exposition-saturated genre, for instance.  But it has a subtle commentary that being a heroin user subjects the people one loves to a real-life horror movie.  This could have been explored more, and the trite ending doesn’t pay this theme off, but really, it’s quite acceptable for the genre, and most of what I would expect from the After Dark festival.  It also, in second billing, has Jaime Murray.

If you don’t want to delve into fetishes, here is a good place to stop reading this post.

Jaime Murray was in season 2 of Dexter, and as it happens, there is already a picture of her on the site, and may be deserving of another (hold on, I’m going to go check IMDB for her birth year.  1977 — just six or seven months out of placement in “Passing the Torch”.)

Jaime Murray is one of those people who doesn’t come off well in photo stills — she has a weird jaw thing going on, and her face is a bit weird — but she has a particular carriage, the sort of sexuality in which one kind of oozes from room to room rather than walks.  In the two roles I’ve seen her in, she is preternaturally femme toxiques (not a real term).  She is cadaver-pale, raven-haired, waify with improbable strategic fat deposits.  She’s willing to be naked on screen.  And she plays in those two roles such crazy characters that I will have great difficulty seeing her in anything else.

For several years — from when I left high school for college until, say, yesterday — having these features might have been a drawback in Hollywood.  But — speculating on the causality — Twilight, True Blood, and to a lesser extent the Underworld movies, have put vampiric women back in the limelight.  And she is fantastic in “For the love of God Montresor” horror (the fun kind).  In fact, she is an archetypical Poe character (that’s what the “Montresor” bit is referencing).  Poe had a “thing” about women like this — walking corpses — and he seemed to even prefer them as actual corpses, in a borderline-necrophiliac-but-mild-enough-that-you-still-get-a-postage-stamp kind of way.

The goth/corpse bit of 1995ish has come full circle, it appears: but I have wondered if any of it is to blame on CSI.  There is something disturbing about CSI.  It’s popular television, so they want hot women.  It’s a dark (if at times somewhat inept) series, though, so there are corpses.  Apparently someone at CBS said, “I know, we can have over-sexualized hot corpses!”  Poe would be pleased, and I’ve privately wondered how many necrophilic stirrings it has caused in viewers, in marketing and mainstreaming this sort of thing.

Second chance to back out.

OK, so: the walking-corpse waify-crazy bit really works for me.  It worked for me in Underworld, and it certainly works for me in the Murray roles.  She really is ideal for this sort of thing.  Someone (ahem) might suggest that she’s the sort of woman you wouldn’t especially mind cutting your throat in your sleep, as long as she did it slowly and nude.

Walking corpses, fictionally-actual corpses — mainstreamed now.  But to turn this post back in a circle: at least it hasn’t looped to real-actual corpses, in the mold of the discussed “extreme horror” film.  If it did, we’d have a merger of sex and murder — that’s “snuff”, right?  What is wrong with some people?

We can be sure of one thing, however: if that ever comes to pass — if it, against all reason and hope, becomes mainstream — it may be a lot of things.  But it won’t be horror.


Really real space. But don’t panic.

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:43:06 -0500

Like many people, I was wowed by the realspace titles in Fincher’s Panic Room.  I began actively watchig for them in this AskMeFi post of a few months ago, which traces them back to North by Northwest.  I’ve become relatively accustomed to them, so that I was startled when this establishing shot (or whatever they’re called) turned out to be not in realspace:

'Dexter' screenshot

I was also startled that the software to do this automatically came out after bullet time became pervasive.  Commentary on the technique: “Something’s coming,” it seems to say. “And it ain’t gonna be fun.”  Except it was.

By the way, yes, it is extremely marvelous to be able to hit the ’s’ key and have a full-resolution movie-file/DVD screeshot written to disk.  Except, um, I’m not sure those DVDs are out yet — so I should note I got the screenshot from my good friend SWIM.

Bachelorhood: The Horror (movies)

Thu, 28 May 2009 19:23:01 -0500

Since this incarnation of bachelorhood, I have felt not so much bachelor as vaguely pathetic.  But tonight, I am relaxing with horror DVDs and TV dinners, watching with headphones on a computer monitor I needn’t share, with a drink, on the sofa.  All I need now is to loosen my belt and belch — that, and pretend I’m drinking Pabst and not a mimosa.

“You think and keyboard far too well for us to respect your opinions”

Tue, 19 May 2009 23:34:45 -0500

From a survey site:

In order to ensure quality survey results, our system has built-in checks that evaluate the quality of responses and the length of time our panelists take to respond to a survey.  The lack of quality and/or short response times suggest that you have not read the questions thoroughly enough to provide thoughtful responses.  Thus, we regret to inform you that your participation in this study is no longer necessary.

I guess I’ll pretend to be less skilled at thought and keyboarding if I want my cookie next time.

Now with more photons!

Mon, 11 May 2009 07:55:31 -0500

Passing the Torch — contributions still courted.  Advertisers, heads-up: the page gets shloads of traffic.

Even less than meets the eye

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:16:15 -0500

So, yeah, I’m watching the Transformers movie.  I pirated it.  I’ve been watching it in slices.

And holy cow is it bad.  Like deeply, horribly, eternally bad.  Really really bad.  After the second scene I said, “Damn, this is Michael Bay, isn’t it?”  He’s one of those directors who leaves his stamp on a film, and not in a good way.

Damn.

Why am I watching?  I dunno.  Has something to do with what Ptolemy called “Explosions & hot chicks & shit.”  I figure if it’s good enough for Ptolemy, it’s good enough for me.  I’m not eager to argue with classical mathematicians.

Man.  I’m watching about ten minutes at a go.  And I start to think to myself, “Oh, to be a fly on the wall of Hasbro!”  Presumably it went something like this:

“Hey, how ’bout cars and trucks and helicopters that turn into robots?  Down in Tech, they’ve just figured out how to do the Rubik’s Cube trick on non-cubic objects.”

“Yes, but we need a way to market it.”

“A cartoon is always good.”

“What, a cartoon about cheap plastic toys that turn into other cheap plastic toys?”

“Yeah.  My idea is something something space cubes something something aliens something something racing stripes something something the end of the world.”

“Oh, that’s quite good, isn’t it?”

“You realize I just said something something repeatedly and didn’t offer any actual ideas, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure no one will notice.  Start the assembly lines!”

And thus it was.  Before any of the stars were born, thus it was.  But hey, they reference eBay in the film.  Must be cool, hot and trendy then.

The 40-Year-Old TV Spot

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 09:37:52 -0500

I wish USA Network would hurry up and air The 40-Year-Old Virgin already.

Surprised?  Let me clarify.  I don’t plan to watch it when it airs.  But I watch a lot of USA Network, and they have had the same thirty second promo for this film debut for a couple weeks, and they always start it right after the fade to black of my shows’ commercial breaks.  I don’t even get a fair chance to skip them.  Awfully sneaky.

Anyway, God, get it over with, USA, so I can start watch your next crappy in-house promo.

(Wow, USA Network’s ad campaign worked, didn’t it?  They successfully, and against my will, infected me with this “New movie on USA coming” meme.  It annoyed me so much, I turned around and passed it on to thousands.  Hmmm.)

DVD Recommendations?

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:36:13 -0600

I have six credits at Swap-A-DVD.  What’s worth owning rather than just queuing?  What am I going to get from Netflix and say, “Man, I should have just bought this to start with”?

The Zodiac Elephants of Morpheus

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:59:11 -0600

Intentionally funny:  Elephant soup recipe, which calls for 1 medium elephant, 500 gallons of boiling water, and onions and potatoes by the bushel.  It lists as serving 3800 people, but if more guests show up than expected, you can add 2 chopped rabbits.

Why it’s funny:  If you’re cooking a whole elephant, two rabbits aren’t going to make a bit of difference, are they?  They’ll serve an additional 4 people, maybe.  That’s lost in the noise and overkill of the elephant recipe.

OK, that was pretty basic.  Let’s move on to The Matrix.

Unintentionally Funny:  Morpheus: The human generates more bio-electricity than 120-volt battery and over 25,000 BTUs of body heat.  Combined with a form of fusion, the machines have found all the energy they would ever need.

Why it’s funny:  If you have fusion power, you don’t really need human body heat, do you?  Just add an extra teaspoonful of water and replace all of humanity.

OK, moving right along.

Pathetically unfunny:  The MPAA rating of the David Fincher film Zodiac, which reads “Rated R for some strong killings, language, drug material and brief sexual images.”

Why it’s pathetically unfunny, and talks about how screwed up our country’s priorities are:  Shouldn’t it just need to stop at strong killings?  Is there really a parent out there who would say, “Oh, graphic images of murder?  That’s fine, as long as there’s no profanity or brief images of clothed people having sex!”  Are these four criteria really of comparable weight?  Depicting bound people being stabbed multiple times is similar enough to the “f” word to list them in the same sentence?  Isn’t all the non-killing stuff lost in the overkill of the murders?

“The Other Side”

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:57:14 -0600

Check out the cast list for this upcoming film.

SwapaDVD

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:58:19 -0600

SwapaDVD is now online, to complement PaperBackSwap, SwapaCD, and SwapaGoat (Maaaa!).

Please use those links to sign up, they’ll help me.

Cool Hand Luke on my queue

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:08:12 -0600

At my last job, several years ago, we were sitting around at lunch discussing the topic of sampling in music.  I cited a few instances I could think of, including the famous monologue from the film Cool Hand Luke being sampled in rock band Guns ‘n’ Roses’ Civil War.

One of my colleagues scoffed and said, “I don’t expect many Guns ‘n’ Roses fans have seen Cool Hand Luke!”

I was about to indignantly reply, “Hey, I like Guns ‘n’ Roses!”  But I stopped myself.  There’s an obvious comeback: “And have you seen Cool Hand Luke?”  I hadn’t, so I kept my mouth shut.

I still don’t grok why being a GnR fan would negatively correlate with having seen the film.  But my not having seen it is probably inexcusable.  So I’ll repair that deficiency soon, and do a moviemath entry on it.

Joel Schumacher

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 22:24:23 -0500

OK, Joel Schumacher and I are done.  I thought we were done after 8MM, then I bought Veronica Guerin (which I didn’t know he directed, and I liked it, Blanchett redeeming it as always), but now I saw The Number 23, which has turned me into a box-reader.  Seriously.  He can fuck off.  His upcoming films are entitled Town Creek, 1:30 Train, and The Crowded Room.

Recently Viewed Films

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 22:48:33 -0500

You can now see my Recently Viewed Films in addition to my Recently Read Books.  I attempt to assign an astral scalar value to each.

“Long Nights”

Tue, 02 Oct 2007 23:47:59 -0500

Ed Vedder’s soundtrack for the film Into the Wild is very, very good, and entirely worth buying even if only for the song Long Nights.

Donella’s Tacos

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:10:15 -0500

Chad Donella is really a fine actor of my generation.  He, unfortunately, has not gotten a chance to really shine in a perfect role yet, but the performances I have witnessed have all been fantastic.

He was in the X-Files episode “Hungry”, playing a brain-eating mutant.  Just try to pull off that role in a heartwarming way, but he did it.  And then there’s Taco Bell.  Several years ago Taco Bell filmed a commercial with him overjoyed to be stuffing his face with a taco.  We’ll likely be deluged with the commercial again when the X Games start showing in a few weeks.

Thing is, he filmed the taco commercial after the X-Files episode, as far as I know.  And the X-Files episode has a scene where he compulsively and with great gusto sucks human brain matter off his fingers.  Fictionally, of course.  I hope.  Same expression of glee as in the Taco spot.

So what, did some ad executive see his brain-sucking and think, “That’s the guy for us!  Let’s have him dig into our tacos!”  Did they have an open call for the commercial, or did someone call his agent and say, “Hey, send the brain-sucker over to chomp our tacos!”  Would be interesting to find out.  Probably.

Martial arts movie?

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 21:39:38 -0600

There was an interesting-looking martial arts movie that was advertised in the American theaters last summer, I believe, with wire-fu and special effects galore.  Anybody have a memory of the name?

Nostalgia Factory

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 17:09:24 -0500

The Nostalgia Factory.  Buy original movie posters and press kits for surprisingly little money and with low shipping charges.  Also, the official provider of poster images to IMDB.